It's been a week of ups and downs in the celebrity gossip world. So, the question is: Do you want the good news or bad news first? Bad news? Of course! (Everybody always asks for bad news first for some reason.) This week marks yet another chapter in the book of celebrity rehab stories. First and foremost, druggie-prostitution-loving actor, Charlie Sheen, admitted himself voluntarily to rehab going on an indefinite break from his successful sitcom, "Two and a Half Men," This of course all comes after a briefcase full of cocaine was discovered that was being delivered to Charlie Sheen's home and he was hospitalized for a hernia on Thursday. The second half of this chapter consists of Disney tween star, Demi Lovato, left rehab today. She left saying she wants to get back into her normal routine, this all happening after her entry into rehab for punching a backup dancer on tour. "How does this fit into the bad news category?" you may ask. Because I've seen this kind of episode before, and I can tell you where it (most likely) all leads to: another stay in the Promises Malibu Rehab Center.
Now that we got the bad news out of the way, let's be a little more optimistic. This week media mogul, Oprah Winfrey, announced on her syndicated television show that she had a long lost half-sister, which was discovered after the sister hired a detective to find her relatives. Oprah's sister, Pat, after being announced of course, then came out to greet the audience. I'm as big a fan of family reunions as anyone, but I just want to know though: How exactly does a phone conversation dealing with something like this go? Here's what I depict:
Investigator: Okay, Pat, I've been working diligently on your case for a long time now and so far I haven't been able to find any of your parents or grandparents.
Pat: Oh that's terrible!
Investigator: Yea, I'm really sorry to say I probably am not going to be able to track them down.
Pat: (Crushed at the prospect most likely also crying.) So what should I do?
Investigator: Well I suppose you could cut your losses and give up or keep holding out and hope something comes up.
Pat: (Even more disappointed and perhaps sobbing at this point) I see.
Investigator: Oh, I forgot to tell you something though... Oprah's your sister! (Click-Phone Call End)
Pat: (A different kind of tears altogether)
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